The Great Equalizer aka the Postpartum Pad

Dripping and oozing is part of the postpartum process. No matter how a baby is born. 


It is an equalizer in the sea of judgment and comparisons.


The biggest pad ever and mesh undies bring people back down to reality. No matter where, or how, or who, on many levels the experience of birthing a human is the same. 


When the provider brings out the first GIANT pad there is often a validating glance between me and the birth parent. A recognition that yes, the journey is just beginning. The selfless and uncensored acts that parents do for their children is ongoing. The majority of them are not photo worthy. 


I believe it is these actions that make up your identity as a parent. Being selfless is easy in short bursts. It is harder to sustain for months on end. But it is what is required to love a child who can not give the same care in return. 


Maybe this post will remind you of all that you have done in your role. 


Or, it can be a nudge in finally believing that accepting help and building a community of support is one way to transform the lonely parts of parenting into meaning. 


There is also the possibility that you will be renewed with the understanding that parents can not do it all and look great at the same time. Life is like the game whack-a-mole. When one task is taken care of the other pops up before there is time to rest and celebrate. The only way to win is to pull the plug on the go, go, go mindset. 


In my work I try to help people have realistic expectations and help people to dig into their values to create shared meaning within their families. Birth and parenting is way more than having a plan and following through. 


Birth and parenting preparation should help parents understand the landscape and know how to use the compass of their inner knowing what path is right for them. This goes beyond research, breathing techniques, or birth plans and into the vast and wonderful unknown abilities that are within each and every one of us. 


At Thresholds we offer workshops to help parents dig a little deeper. Sometimes people find what’s missing and make a plan for change. Other times people find what has been there all along and now they get to enjoy it! 


Do you know someone in search of something more in birth and parenting…send them this post. 


Thanks so much for reading, 



About Amity Kramer

Amity Kramer has been helping families cultivate unconditional love since 2008. She is a Birthing From Within Mentor, Certified Gottman Educator, and founder of Thresholds. Amity leads soulful workshops for families in transition. She also is a practicing birth and postpartum doula which gives her a unique window into the joys and struggles of family life.

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